Monday, May 25, 2015

A Work in Progress....

So far I have lost a total of 36 lbs since I have embarked on this journey to better myself.  I will have an updated weight when I go for a check up June 10th. I have been watching what I have been eating for a total of 120 days, eating mainly lower carb, healthy options.  I have cut out pasta, potatoes and bread for the most part.  I have also cut out sweets and junk food for the most part, sometimes I do give in and allow myself a little something.  But for the most part I am being good about watching what I am eating.

I am walking almost a mile everyday.  I have been walking around the block. Every morning I take my fiance to work and then come home and take my puppy dog out for a walk.  My puppy Ellie has motivated me so much during these past couple months, there have been days when I come home and I just want to go back to bed, I am sore and achy and don't want to walk around the block.  But then I come home and see Ellie and how excited she is to go out for a walk and I can't let her down.  Ellie is the one who pushed me to go around the block in the first place.  I walked her to the end of the road and she wanted to go further.  So she pulled and pulled until I walked further.  I have her to thank for how far I have come.  She pushed me to be a better version of myself.

I have a goal to reach 100 lbs lost before I have weight loss surgery.  I am hoping that right now I am around 50 lbs lost but I will be able to confirm that June 10th.

There is not a day that goes by that it isn't a battle.  I constantly think about what I am eating and sometimes almost to the point where I am obsessive over it.  I also feel very guilty when I do break down and eat something that I know I am not supposed to eat like a sweet or junk food.  It has also been a process to try to fight the urge to eat when I am stressed out.  I am so used and programmed to just reach for food to comfort myself.  So fighting that urge has been hard at times.  But I have won the battle more times than I have lost.  I also have to constantly remind myself that if I do give in and have a little something, I can get back on the wagon the next day.  A lot of self talk takes place each day, reminding myself that I am normal, and nobody can be perfect and eat healthy 365 days a year.  It is allowing myself to fail but keep going.

I am still drinking protein shakes for breakfast and lunch, I not only find that they fill me up but they are much more convenient.  I am still on the path to have weight loss surgery.  I meet with the surgeon on June 17th at Humber River Regional Hospital.  I then go to my trio appointments July 21st, where I meet with the Social Worker, Dietitian and Nurse.  I am hoping that if everything goes well I will hopefully have an approval for surgery by the fall sometime.  I am also going for a sleep study in August to see if I have sleep apnea.

Oh and I also can't stress how important having a Fitbit has been.  My Fitbit Flex has kept me pretty motivated to keep walking as well.  I constantly try to outdo my previous day totals.

I am going to start weight training soon and am thinking of joining the YMCA shortly so that I can actually go to the gym and work out.  I need to add activity to my day.  Walking was a great start but I need to do some more if I want to get to the results I want.

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough" -Og Mandino