Sunday, March 16, 2014

Oatmeal Raisin Breakfast Cookies (Gluten free, no sugar added)

How lucky am I to have a boyfriend who bakes me cookies here and there? Very lucky. On a kick to have a healthier year this year however my boyfriend found the following recipe which is a healthier version of cookie, which becomes the ultimate treat!

Oatmeal Raisin Breakfast Cookies
(Gluten free, no sugar added)

2 Cups Rolled Oats
2 Mashed Bananas
1 Cup of Peanut Butter 
1 TSP of Cinnamon 
2 TSP of Pure Vanilla Extract
9 TBSP of Raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, bake for 15 minutes.  Let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan.

So there you have it, a super healthy, easy treat that is so good! Try it! You will love them! 

Friday, March 14, 2014

Things I Love....

Doesn't everyone have that list of things that they cannot live without.  The things that make you smile. The the reasons you are blessed? I am a firm believer that you need to have a list of things that you love so you can look at it frequently and realize why you are so blessed. Whenever I am sad or down I always bring out this list. To remind myself how lucky I really am!
So here are just some of the things I love:

1. My Mother- My Mom is my best friend, she has always been there no matter what! She is my idol.

2. My Boyfriend- I am so lucky to have such an amazing, supportive guy in my life who loves me no matter what.

3. Good Friends- I have a couple amazing friends that have been there for me through thick or thin, my grandfather always said that you can count yourself lucky if you can count on one hand how many true friends you have.  I am lucky.  

4. Not Smoking- Quitting was the best thing I have ever done! 

5. Deciding to get a Gastric Bypass- I was always saying I would think about it and skirting the issue but actually facing how unhealthy I am and committing to quitting smoking so I can get the surgery done is a huge deal! 

6. Eating Better- I am slowly but surely trying to eat better and cut out the crap in my diet!

I am constantly adding to the list! I am a work in progress!  

Thursday, March 13, 2014


"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
- e. e. cummings

It is hard to want to be yourself when you barely want to walk through the door to go outside. Anxiety and depression run rampant through your veins.  I know I'm not crazy. Just sick.  I read somewhere that 20% of Canadians will suffer from a mental illness in their lifetime.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  For me it is like a roller coaster of emotions one day I feel half normal and the next I feel like I can't deal with anything. I go to bed with this, I wake up with this, it never goes away.  It has ruined jobs, friendships and pretty much my life.  But what people don't understand is what it takes to deal with it.  To control it.  I have struggled with mental illness for the past 22 yrs.  I have major depression and anxiety.  I am at the point right now where my anxiety is debilitating.  I can't leave my apartment without a huge fight that I have with myself pushing myself to get ready and leave.  My depression, bad to the point where I sleep in excess of 14 hrs a day.  I make excuses for why I can't do things and am constantly sleeping because mentally I can't handle another thing.  I don't have a job because I can barely get out of bed. People have basically said to me "Just snap out of it" or "You seem fine to me".  I promise you if you are sleeping in excess of 14 hrs a day and can't leave your apartment do you think I am "fine"?  

People have stigmas against mental illness because you cannot see the person is sick on the outside, no it all takes place in the brain.  So even though I may look alright doesn't mean I am not in horrible pain and mentally drained. It doesn't mean that depression isn't a serious illness.  

Thankfully I do have a great support system. People who are there for me no matter what.  Which has been irreplaceable this last year.  2013 was not a good year. I went from losing my job of 11 years, which became such a facet of who I was, to being so depressed I just wanted to end it all.  But my boyfriend and mom have been there for me through thick and thin and have been by my side. 

This year I have pledged to get healthier and things have been looking up lately.  2014 is going to be a way better year.  My hope and wish for anyone reading this blog entry would be to have a little more patience with people who suffer from anxiety and depression, to realize that they cannot help how they feel and that there is no quick fix that is going to help.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Why?!?! My Five Wives....

I was flipping through stations today and came across the show My Five Wives.  If you have not seen the commercial or are living under a rock it is about a Utah polygamous family, which includes 1 man, 5 wives and 24 children between them.  

I wasn't going to watch it.  But my curiosity got the better of me.  I mean to each their own, but even the wives don't seem too happy to share a husband with each other. Which I can't blame them! 

My question is why? Why is polygamy even legal anywhere? What type of person would want to get into a relationship like that? Why does this have to be the basis of a reality TV show? I believe marriage is between a man and a woman alone not between a man and women. 
Even the wives were saying things like "I don't like to think of him in her bed".  Why even sign up for that type of relationship? 

I just do not understand how this is a healthy family dynamic for all these kids.  Or how it is a healthy relationship dynamic for these women!!

I guess whatever makes you happy? What are your thoughts?

Monday, March 10, 2014

Getting Healthy in 2014....

"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions."  - Dalai Lama

This is the year that I have decided to not make anymore excuses.  I quit smoking (2 months ago) YAY me! I have decided to get a Gastric Bypass which will enable me to get where I want to be physically.  All in all I think this year is going to be a good one.  I have to be smoke free for 6 months before I can get the Gastric Bypass and go through various appointments first to get the green light.  It will all be worth it in the end.  I am going to be 30 this year, I am no longer a careless young adult. I need to get my life in order so that I can be happier.  My problem is that I always over think things, and then say "It is too hard".  Well this year I am taking a stand against "It is too hard".  I am going to kick "It is too hard" in the butt.  I must say that I am truly blessed I do have a very supportive family, who is there for me anytime I need them, a significant other who is right here beside me no matter what, and amazingly supportive friends who are there to listen to me when I need someone to vent to.  2014 is going to be a better year.

Sunday, March 09, 2014


I am so angry right now so here is a rant. Maybe a rant and a half. So who here has Twitter? Well @peoplemag who reported a story on a 12 year old girl who weighs 203 lbs and is unable to lose the weight as she has a hypothalamic disorder which prevents her from losing the weight. Medically she has an issue and they are raising the funds to have Gastric Bypass surgery done so she can have a normal life again. 

So some ass decides to write "I feel bad but no weight gain is uncontrollable" or something along those lines. So I decided to tweet back because seriously how can you be so ignorant regarding a 12 year old little girl. It really pisses me off how people stereotype that overweight, or obese people are sitting around shoving sweets and candy and food down their throats when clearly that is not the case I am sure this 12 yr olds mother is not doing that. So this guy writes me back and decides to say "It is basic law of physics burn off more than you take in" and that "nobody gains weight from air and water" so I fired back that maybe he needs to look up what she has and also something called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). As clearly medical issues can cause weight issues. 
Want to know the best part of this that he reveals in the next tweet..........."I am a nurse......."
WTF are you fighting me for?!?!?!?!? 

I am not saying everyone with a weight problem has a medical issue, and that normally the recipe is "burn more than you consume". But honestly this guy was being so ignorant I couldn't stand it!

I personally have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which causes you to gain weight and even makes it hard for you to lose weight, am I saying that I am perfect and I have never eaten things I should not have? No! But I have honestly also tried very hard to lose weight multiple times and do watch what I eat and still fail to lose weight. I too am going to eventually be getting a Gastric Bypass. My main rant here is don't judge a book by its cover! Don't stereotype people because honestly unless you know the whole story under can you "think" you know everything!!

Here is Alexis's story (the 12yr old girl):

Saturday, March 08, 2014

Thursday, March 06, 2014

iPhone 4 Wallpapers!

Here are some more uber cute wallpapers I have come across!

Uber Cute iPhone Wallpapers Part 2....

I have been on a quest to find the cutest iPhone wallpapers, here is another set of uber cute options!

iPhone 4/4S Wallpapers:

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Awesome iPhone 4 Wallpapers....

I have had an iPhone 4 for awhile and have recently been searching high and low for some uber cute wallpapers! I was always a Blackberry girl before this so I am so used to being able to customize my phone the way I want it which unfortunately I cannot do with my iPhone 4.  However I can get super cute wallpapers and change them frequently! 

Here are some awesomely cute wallpapers for the iPhone 4/4S

Stay tuned for some more cuteness in posts to come! :) 

Day 55 and Feeling Fine.....

I did it! Yes I actually have quit smoking! How awesome is that! Pretty awesome if you ask me! I am at day 55 and didn't think I would make it past day 6 like before.  It is not easy and I still get cravings every so often, but it is definitely worth it.  I am in the process of getting healthy! Honestly if I can quit smoking ANYONE can quit smoking because I made just about every excuse not to quit.  But I must say I am pretty proud of the fact that I haven't even though some days have wanted to but that I haven't turned around and bought another pack.  I have to be smoke free for 6 months to get a surgery I want to get and I am now closer than I ever have been to achieving my goal! I must say that anyone trying to quit smoking or wants to quit smoking, I would definitely suggest checking out the Livestrong "My Quit Coach" app that you can download on your iphone or Android. The community of people on that app have been a major reason why I have been able to quit. But I will definitely be updating you all on my process as I go along!