Saturday, January 10, 2015

Oh Hello 30's....New Year, New Goals....

It is so funny as I grow up, how much I realize that the little things don't really matter.
For example I got a new pair of eyeglasses.  When I picked them out, I cared a bit what they looked like when they were on, I mean I have to wear them everyday, I want them to look somewhat half decent.  Well they came in today and I put them on and they look like a totally different pair.  I don't really like how they look, they are kind of too round for my face I think.  But I can see.  I can finally see.  My prescription in the glasses changed so much that I am just thankful that I have glasses that I can see, more than what they look like on my face at this moment in time.

Maybe being 30 is changing me one small characteristic at a time.  What I would love to learn in my 30's which I could never get a handle of in my 20's is to not care what other people think.  I am a very opinionated person, I do stand up for what I believe in however I find myself more recently caring what other people think.  I think it is normal to care what other people think to a degree, but to let it change you to the point where you avoid doing certain things because of your fears is another thing.  This year I have taken on a vow to make a lot of changes.  Not only do I want to work on myself physically, I want to work on myself mentally.  I am bad for not pushing myself to do things.  I need to start pushing myself to do things as uncomfortable as it may be.  For example right now I don't like going into stores.  The reason why....I get made fun of.  Someone will make a comment when I am just walking through a store about my weight.  I understand I am a big girl.  I understand that you may not be used to seeing someone as big as myself in the store, however that does not mean that I don't have feelings.  But I need to start not caring and just pushing myself to go into the stores and let the comments not bother me. They don't know me, or what I have been through or what struggles I have endured in my lifetime, just as I do not know their struggles.  I need to develop the mentality that I just don't care.  I need to stop letting people bully and get the better of me because I deserve to be happy just as much as the next person.

Another thing I would love to curb in my 30's is my procrastination problem. I honestly am queen of procrastination. There is not one thing that I don't procrastinate about.  For example right now my dishes....I was doing really well there for awhile and doing my dishes everyday, then I end up letting one day go and one day turns into two I keep telling myself "I will do them later."  well later never comes.  So here they sit almost a week later and instead of having a couple pots and plates to do up, I have several pots, glasses, plates, cutlery and measuring cups etc.  Same thing with laundry.  I say I am going to keep up on it, I do a load of laundry it sits in the basket folded even sometimes.  I don't put it away and then what happens? It piles up in my bedroom.  Every aspect of my life I procrastinate in, even when I have something that needs to be sent in by a certain date, I always wait until the last minute.

This year is going to be a year of big changes.  This year is going to be a better year.

No comments: