Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Progress....In The Right Direction....

So today was actually a good day!

I am such a procrastinator.  I honestly am the worst.  So today with the urging of my boyfriend I finally went to the bank and cancelled a bank account that I never use and have been paying $15 a month for, for the past 6 months.  I was hesitant to go because 1.  I have horrible anxiety....the thought of being in a public place sends me into panic mode, 2. I can't stand too long yet (which I am working on!) and 3. I just hate going out. So after procrastinating all morning, finally my boyfriend said "Get ready we are going".

So off to the bank we go, not only did I stand in the bank for 10-15 minutes, but I didn't have a horrible panic attack!! This may not seem like much to people, but honestly this is a big victory for me!! I am now all about celebrating the small things.  The fact that I was able to go into the bank and stand for the time needed to wait at the customer service desk, to be then told a teller can help me, to then waiting in line for the next available teller, to then standing there while the teller went through closing my account is a big victory.  Yes my back was aching when I was done, but I did it and it wasn't horrible.  Also I wasn't all sweaty and panic stricken being in the bank with other people!! So two victories in one day!

I am still walking in my apartment, doing laps, I try to everyday, but some days I don't for one reason or another.  I am at the point where I am walking 3.5 minutes.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is better than nothing, I am trying to look at the positive in situations. The key word here is TRYING.  Some days are better than others.

I do want to thank each and every one of my family and friends and of course my boyfriend who are putting up with me right now, because I know I can be a huge pain in the butt (think roller coaster of emotions).

I am going to, I know I keep saying it but definitely I am going to start doing some strength training and some floor exercises to help strengthen my legs and back.

What else....Oh I have found out I have an addiction to green beans.  Seriously fresh green beans with Italian dressing.  Oh also I have been logging my food for a whole month so that means I have been watching what I have been eating and portioning out everything for a month now! Which also means in the last month I have only eaten 1 sweet! THAT IS A HUGE VICTORY. No I didn't eat sweets everyday before but I ate them multiple times a week, and to only have eaten one sweet in the past month, that is honestly phenomenal.  I barely even crave them anymore, I mean my boyfriend and I went through the Tim Hortons drive thru today to get a coffee, and he had won a donut (from Roll Up The Rim), he got a Salted Caramel donut, I wasn't even jealous or upset.  Before (when I first was watching what I was eating) I would have been jealous that he got to eat the donut but today I didn't care.

I think the biggest thing for me is to realize that this is going to be a slow process, that I can't expect results right away, and that the things that are most worth it, come in time and are going to be hard to attain.  Just like with the weight loss surgery when I do get it I cannot expect it to do all the work, it is a tool, not a cure all.

Thank you as well to everyone who commented on my last post, it is really awesome to have some positive feedback/encouragement.

I will keep everyone updated as I embark further on this journey!

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