Weight Loss Journey Update!

Holy crap I have lost 108 lbs!!!! Yes I have a LONG way to go, however I have also come a LONG way from where I started.  I never thought I would ever have the courage to lose any big amount of weight.  I have learnt so much about myself on this journey so far and I still have a lot to learn about myself I am sure.  The biggest thing that I have learnt is to take things day by day.  If you look at the big picture it gets too overwhelming.  If you take it day by day it is easier to digest and tackle.  Losing weight is a HUGE mental undertaking.  You have to be in the right place mentally to lose weight especially when you are tackling losing a big amount of weight.

I started my journey in February of this year at 604 lbs and as of Oct 28th I am 496 lbs.  I am honestly proud of myself.  Every other time I have tried to lose weight I have given up.  I always started off with the best intentions and the first time I would "mess up" (messing up could be either eating something that wasn't on my "list" of okay foods or not working out when I was supposed to.) I would give up.  I had so many excuses that I fed myself, like 1.  I am meant to be overweight.  2.  I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) so that makes me automatically bigger.  3.  I have tried to lose weight and I never can keep it off, it is too hard....and countless other excuses.
What makes this time different, even when I mess up, I don't give up.  You have to be ready to lose weight though.  Mentally you have to be ready to stop the excuses and commit to moving and trying to eat better (cleaner).  It took me years to get to a place where I could actually lose weight.  I still have as I have said a very long way to go (296 lbs) before I get to my goal weight, I am human and there are days I don't want to go for a walk, there are days I don't want to eat healthy, there are days I indulge and eat junk food.  But I don't give up anymore.  I start fresh the next day or next meal.  I am in no way an expert at losing weight.  But I have found what works for me (for now).  I walk.....a lot, I try to walk 4-6km 5 days a week.  I also try to go to the gym 3 times a week.  (I haven't been going recently to the gym because I did injure my foot, but I have been walking still even if I have to hobble.)
I measure and weigh my food.  I also use My Fitness Pal to track my food.  I have made a lifestyle change.  There are days where I miss being able to eat whatever I want to eat, but then I remember just where that lead me and what I let food take away from me.  I was trapped in my apartment, not living my life.  I chose food over everything.  Food controlled me.  Now I control me.

I am going to have gastric bypass surgery.  However the surgeon wants me to get down to 440 lbs, which I WILL do.  The surgery is going to be an additional tool to help me get to where I would like to get (200 lbs).

Here is a pic of the 108 lb difference:

I know I always promise to write more posts, but I promise I am going to try to write more frequently to keep you all updated on my progress.  I want to share my journey with you and make my journey public so that others who are going through the same thing and felt as hopeless as I did at 604 lbs, have someone that they can talk to and relate to.  I always felt alone and it was so scary feeling like I was the only one who was going through this.  I want you to know if you are reading this and you are super morbidly obese, you are NOT alone.  Please reach out to me if you ever want someone to talk to! Also I am documenting my weight loss journey on Instagram.  You can follow along HERE

Stay tuned! :)